Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I'm soooo happy right now.
At this moment.
I'm goonda-shma-happy.
I love you and life is great. Yes, you. Peru on Sunday hey hey hey!
I'm just listening to Lykke Li and being happy.
So annoying.
I just feel like dancing and loving.
Here is a funny thing. If you have 20 minutes to rot your brain, watch these.
1. this is for real
2. this is a parody


Sunday, January 11, 2009

Vint Vint Uma Haunts Me

Yeah, come on outside. Let's freeze our no-no bits off and look out of place (out of time). This is a vintage trench from the Capitol Theatre's costume collection, shoes by Seychelles, pantalones H&M, vintage mohair hat from Germany, raw silk scarf from Still Eagle, and cowl-neck scarf from Urban Outfitters.

My room is such a fucking mess. I'm a mess yo! Luckily for me and unluckily for my neurosis, I've just discovered Bach Rescue Remedy Pastilles for natural stress relief. Better than the drops, but still hokey. They are unpleasantly sticky and chewy, but they come in a nice tin that would be perfect for storing your drugs in. That is how I plan on using it after I stress-chew my way through the lovely elderflower-flavoured gum-drops. Chew chew chew. Stress stress stress. I don't stress. Let's play games and chew on stress.

I'm so done with American fuckin Apparel right now. I ordered my stuff such a long time ago, but still nothing. I wanted this, this, and this to take as very practical-type garments on my SA trip. I sent them both witty and civil e-mails, still nothing. Civility obviously sucks. Fuck them. Fuck them up their cotton-spandex-sheathed asses.

Do I sound really angry today?
I'm not. Maybe I overdosed on Rescue Pastilles.
Maybe I'm just a bitch!
Heh heh, just kidding. I'm just PMS-y. WOOOO I love me!

yours in uterus-y anguish,

Saturday, January 10, 2009

let's go somewhere else, you bitches

Well muthafuckin shit.
I just JUST got back from a potluck at the small forest home of my stylish forest friend.
It was boring.
I felt boring too... all self-conscious and afraid to show my brash and politically-incorrect side that loves to come out in group situations.
What the fuck?
I'm beginning to tire of this place, this country even. I wish to move to Oklahoma or New Orleans and start my life anew, where I don't have to worry about those beautiful "cool" people and their misuse of the word "phallic" (also, "blasé"). Now I'm sure New Orleans has those people too; I just have a very romanticized vision of my life there that has a lot to do with porches and bourbon and singin' the blues about crocodiles on the bayou. And I like that vision. That vision gives me happiness.
So shut up.
Anyways, after coming home from this situation wherein I felt I had to prove my steeziness time and again, I can't help but think that my current group of friends is so much better. They are not VIP at all the festivals; they don't fuck "famous" DJs; they don't have private art parties or anything glamourous, really. And thank God.
Anyways, enough of that.
I'm going to Peru in a few days so hopefully I don't get malaria.
Hopefully you don't either.
What was I talking about?
Ah who cares.
I'm going to go roll a spliff.
yours in bad humour,

Monday, December 29, 2008

she's a complicated man, but no one understands her but her woman

What a complicated little title, heh?
Rumor has it I'm a complicated girl. But who cares, right? I mean, really.
I like the things I like because I like funny things.
What will this blog be about?
The ramblings of a freaky bohemian forest girl, perhaps. But quite possibly more than that.
Here is me. I don't know how to make a damn blog, but you'll see, Henry Higgins, you'll see.
Oh my God, how do I make the font stop being blue??? It irks me, Susan!

here is my green lantern.she had always been a curious girl -- eccentric, and seemingly obsessed with that green lantern which held only one candle at a time. "why only one candle?" we ask. well, we suppose she loved it for that very mystery.

This is from Grandmother Jane's coin box. It is sideways and I don't have the computer savvy to un-sideways it. You'll just have to tilt your sweet little head to the right for the time-being.
This is me, Evelyn Jane (Mlle. Sass) in Grandma's wedding get-up.

I think I'm one of those people that is really hard to get to know. I think so, but maybe not. But probably. But maybe not. I guess it takes effort and patience. But maybe not.

I make things. Do things make me? Oh shit! I make cookies. I make parties at my house. My friends broke my bed. I got a new bed. My new bed is too high. I have nightmares of falling off. I can't sleep. I miss my broken bed. I hate my friends. Just kidding. They are magical. Freaks and geeks and funky flailers. I love to wear costumes. I like to draw pictures of transvestites. The transvestites are all named Sheila and Candace. I have never met a transvestite named Sheila, nor Candace. I am young. Well, you are young too. I have an epiphany every two months at least. I sing the blues even when I'm happy. Are you still reading this? Whoa, I like you. I am not weird. You are not weird. No, really, you are weird. I keep to myself. I should floss more. I used to be a vegetarian. Then I ate a chicken. I run away from bears. Bears run away from me. Bears sometimes fall out of the trees and go KTHUNK on the ground. I planted a garden of moss when I was small. My father came home. He told me I shouldn't plant gardens in the middle of the road. I have never broken a bone. My friends say I am a leopard and/or a nightingale.
I like to talk about dirty/weird things, but only if you start it.
I can be shy. I don't know why. No, that's a lie. Do you like pie?
When I laugh really hard, I slap my knee like an old man and I sound like donkeys doing the no-no.
Oh oh oh
fruit flies and apple pies
fake diamonds and silver dollars
minnows and horses
it will be nice.

let's dance.